Hundreds of dollars have been spent on my daughter's wardrobe, most of it by her two loving grandmothers. She has adorable dresses, that she herself selected. Perfectly coordinated hair ribbons. The best in kiddie footwear.
She should look adorable each morning as she heads off to preschool.
But Abby has little interest in wearing her adorable, perfectly coordinated outfits. Instead she likes to mix it up with vintage and out of season pieces. Perhaps some Christmas leggings with a striped top? Much sassier than the matching skirt. Or a maroon crushed velvet skirt with a neon pink top with a butterfly on it? How about a yellow headband? That goes with everything.
I try to relax and just go with it. Really I do. But she could look so cute...
So yet again I found myself in the car declaring "That is it, we are not buying you anymore clothes. It is a waste to buy you nice things if you are going to dress like this".
Harsh. Mean.
Let her make a choice and then shit all over it. Bad Mommy.
"Yeah, okay, Mom no more clothes," she replied in a bored voice. Clearly she did not believe me either.
As we pulled into the school parking lot, one of Abby's classmates was emerging from her mother's SUV in a little striped Gap dress with matching bow. Adorable.
"I love your dress," I said to the girl.
"We had a huge fight over that dress," her mother whispered as the girls ran ahead.
"You should have heard us in the car," I replied. "And just look at my kids," I said, gesturing to encompass the girl in red velvet and pink neon and the toddler in a smorgasbord of strawberries, hearts, carpi pants and winter shoes.
"They look fine to me," she replied.
Less emotional now, I looked at my kids again. They looked like kids. Maybe not kiddie catalog perfect kids, but not terribly neglected kids either.
I can live with that.
It is just not worth fighting over. Not worth ruining yet another morning over. It is not about me. It is not about how I want other moms to see my kids, and by extension me. I write these words to convince myself that these things are true.
So my plan, my goal is to let this one go. I WILL NOT HAVE THIS FIGHT AGAIN.
Expect to see much more of this in our future:
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Charlotte has no opinion yet really, but I know that day is coming. I keep telling myself I won't fight my girls over clothes or hair but knowing me I am sure I will.
ReplyDeleteGirls.
the lighting on this pic is BEAUTIFUL.
ReplyDeleteYou're awesome, and those girls of yours are adorable. Stripes and polka dots and all...
ReplyDeletethis is funny - i have the same battle with my almost 4 year old. She just wants to wear a dress and crocs - even in winter. And winters in Switzerland are COLD! My 5 year old however, has finally emerged from this stage and is usually happy to go with Mommy's suggested outfits. What I'm saying is - all kids are the same - but pick your battles! Who really cares what she wears - no doubt every other mother has had that very same battle - some choose to fight and get stressed - others just laugh let kids be kids!
ReplyDeleteSame exact thing at our house - and they are BOYS. But they have adorable little outfits that they won't wear. I, too, gave up the battle b/c it's not worth the stress and the fighting. I'm sure I'll have it worse with my girl. Regardless, that pic is amazing and they look so sweet sitting there :-)
ReplyDeletewill you please remind me of this in a few years...i am sure i will need it.
ReplyDeleteif beans is anything like me - she will wear a large red puffy skirt with electric blue tights to school and not think twice about how silly she looks.
(not that i know anyone that did that in the 5th grade. just a guess.)
Good for you :) Some things really aren't worth fighting over. Don't worry. My daughter is the same way. We're lucky if we get her socks to match.
ReplyDeleteI've quit fighting, too! It's just not worth it! Besides, when she comes home from daycare, she has stains all over her anyways, so, why bother?
ReplyDeleteLOL! My 3 yo is going through a stage (which has lasted a couple years now) of not wanting to wear clothes at all. She used to run around in just a onesie, now that she is bigger, she just runs around in her undies. The only time I can get her to wear clothes is when we are out and about. We literally walk in the house, she takes off her shoes, socks, coat and then all of her clothes!
ReplyDeleteI often wonder why in the hell I even buy clothes for 3 year olds. My oldest did the same exact thing at the same exact age. Except she wore princess dresses every. single. day. (except when we were out). And again, I had clothes that she barely wore during that time.
Aren't kids great???
I gave up having that fight with my daughter last year.
ReplyDeleteShe goes to preschool looking a bit like a ragamuffin and usually always mismatched.
BUT - she dresses herself - I don't have to help and she looks like every other girl there.
So she fits right in, I buy her clothes at Consignment sales and there is no arguing.
Although, I'm like you - I do lament how cute she COULD look. But this way - at least SHE is happy with how she looks! I guess we are building self-esteem!
I taught my daughter to say " I dressed myself" and let it go. She actually has a nice sense of style now that she is 19.
ReplyDeleteThe bathing suit with the blue jean skirt stage was the hardest.
She looks fabulous with her unique sense of style!
ReplyDelete: )
I'd like to say I would go with the flow on this as well, but I am sure I'd struggle. I know it is the "right" thing to do...but so hard to let your child look like YOU just don't care. I'm proud of you...and just crossing my fingers that Sugar continues to let me pick what she wears.
ReplyDelete