Today marks the beginning of both a new year and my 34th year on this earth. As always, a good day to get all my reflecting and goal setting done for the year.
I have always been a goal oriented person, but for the last couple of years my goals have been primarily the make it through the day variety. Just maintaining the status quo and making it through the year seemed to be about all I could wrap my tired mind around.
But this year I feel like it is time to start thinking about goals again. The girls are getting older. They are more independent, no longer sucking the life out of me, every minute of every day. Their needs are less intense, less draining, which has opened up some space in my brain to think about the future and what I want it to look like.
When I quit my job two and a half years ago, it was only meant to be a temporary thing. Six months, maybe a year. Fast forward two and a half years, and I can't imagine leaving. Can't imagine juggling the maze of childcare that would be required for me to head back to the city to work a 9 to 5 job again. Can't imagine me, now, in that environment, because I am not that person any more. I want to be here, for me, for my husband, for my kids. And as the girls start school, I want to put them on the bus in the morning and be here in the afternoon when they get home.
But the reality is I need to find a way to start making some money or make some significant changes to our life style, which something I have tried and mostly failed to do in the last two and a half years.
And also? As the kids grow bigger and their lives slowly become more their own, I would like something that is my own. Something not related to being a mother or a wife. A small part of my day or my week that is mine.
What am I interested in? What am I passionate about? Photography. Photography that captures the beauty of children, families and babies to be specific.
Is there money to be made taking pictures of babies? Yes.
Is it a job I can do while still being a mother first? Yes, I think.
Is starting my own business something I ever wanted to do? HELL NO. I liked the corporate world just fine, thankyouverymuch.
Do I have an incredible amount to learn? Yes.
Do I think I could be good at it? Yes.
Do I think I could enjoy it? Yes.
Does the thought of really, actually doing it make me feel like I am going to vomit? Yes.
And it is in that spirit that I have decided to build my skills and portfolio in the coming year, with the goal of people someday actually paying me to photograph them and their children.
Even writing that makes me feel like vomiting.
Promising, no?
Moving on.
Since every year I resolve to eat better, I see no reason why this year should be any different. Except that this year, instead of doing it to lose a few pounds, I am doing it to set a better example for the two girls who watch every bite of food that goes into my mouth. At five years old, Abby is
overweight and getting her to slow down, eat less and eat healthier is a constant struggle. I need to set a better example. So fish, veggies and salad will make more appearances at our table and snacks will be healthier.
And finally, no matter what else happens, I would like to make this a magical and memorable year for us as a family. At (almost) three and five years old, the girls are no longer babies, but also not yet school age. They are increasingly able to go places and do things in the real world, but are not yet focused on and influenced by friends and teachers and the pressures of society. They are still eager to spend every minute with us. We are still the center of their universe. In my pre-baby days, I envisioned lots of traveling and fun adventures with my kids and I think this is the year and these are the ages when that vision will finally become a reality. It is an opportunity I don't want to miss.
All and all, I would say it is shaping up to be an interesting year.
