a note to claire

My Dearest Claire,

This new routine? The one where you scream out for Mama every two hours or so all night long? And when I go check on you, and you are all huh? wha?? Oh hey, what are you doing here Mama?? Nice to see you and all but I was trying to sleep here.

Seriously?

This has got to stop. Once you start sleeping through the night there is no going back. This is clearly stated in the rule book you received when you arrived here.

You cooperation is much appreciated.

All my love,
Mama

weekly winners june 22-28

This weeks winners are from our trip to North Conway, NH and Storyland Amusement Park. Nothing like some summer family fun!

Happy Family

Let's Go Daddy!

I princess, Mommy!

Claire Hits the Kiddie Pool

Exhaustion

See more Weekly Winners over at Sarcastic Mom

a good old fashion family road trip

My husband and I enjoy traveling very much. Back in the days of two incomes and no kids, there was lots of traveling going on here. Business trips, trips to visit friends and fabulous vacations together. Weeks relaxing on the beach. Weeks exploring fabulous cities. Good food. Lots of drinking.

Our biggest limitation was the number of vacation days we had.

Add two kids and subtract one income. Gone is the time. Gone is the disposable income. Gone is the traveling.

So we were thrilled when an offer of $400 in free travel money from American Express Blue landed in our mailbox. What to do? A romantic weekend? New York City? A spa maybe?

After considering all the wonderful possibilities, we settled on a hotel that features a talking moose head in the lobby, trays of cookies at snack time and fabulous pools. The big local attraction? Storyland Amusement Park.

Oh, how times have changed.

The girl’s favorite parts of the trip were fairly predictable- the abundance of macaroni and cheese, the late nights spent in the pool, the roller coasters (Abby) and the carousel (Claire). The exhaustion and kiddie meltdowns were also fairly predictable. Abby's passionate fear of moose heads was a bit of a surprise, but she survived.

My favorite moments?

...watching my fearless daughter enthusiastically run from ride to ride, then watching her laugh and laugh when Daddy got soaked on the River Raft ride...



...enjoying a delicious burger and a beer on the deck of a surprisingly good restaurant overlooking beautiful mountains, then watching the girls dance in the summer rain after all the other sensible diners had gone inside....



...splashing around in the pool and the hot tub with the girls long after their normal bedtimes...



... all falling into bed exhausted at the end of each day ...

... and waking up at 8:30am and quietly watching my still exhausted two year old peacefully sleep for another half an hour.

These are the memories that I will hold on to as I return to the reality of an empty refrigerator, a pile of dirty laundry and two overtired, grumpy kids.

weekly winners

I took lots of beach pictures this week, but this series of Claire picking flowers in the field behind the house ended up being one of my all time favorites.









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photostory friday

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

This is my favorite baby picture of Claire. It was taken as I was getting her ready to go home from the hospital. My husband was coming to pick us up and my parents were bringing Abby, but that morning it was just the two of us. I showered and sat by the window with Claire sleeping beside me in her little plastic bucket.

As I watched the beautiful spring day begin outside, I was filled with happiness and hope. This was the start of a new phase in my life. I had given my notice and would not be going back to my corporate job. My foreseeable future would be spent with two little girls by my side.

I had worried that I would not be able to love an new baby as much as I loved Abby, but instead my heart swelled with complete and utter love for both of them.

As I sat there, I had visions of Abby and Claire growing up together, looking very much alike as they played and laughed together.

My family was complete. Claire's arrival completed us.

summer, cape cod style

I was jolted awake at 6:57 am this morning by the sound of a can of soda opening. Wha??? Oh, right I am at my parents summer house. Some people like a nice cup of coffee in the morning. Some like tea. My dad? He enjoys a nice can of Diet Coke. Never the more economical 2 liter bottle, always one can each morning. And for whatever reason the sound of that can opening can be heard throughout the house. By August I will have grown accustomed to it. But this was our first night here.

I drift back to sleep, secure in the knowledge that when the girls wake up there will be loving grandparents awake to great them.

I wake up again at 8 am to a flurry of activity. The boat is leaving earlier, they have to get ready for the boat. I quickly dress Abby, slather her with sunscreen and send her off on a boat ride, her first boat ride, with Grandma and Grandpa.

Which leaves Claire and I. Just the two of us. A rarity for my second child. What do you want to do I ask her. The playground? The beach? Pick flowers she says. So I throw on her cutest sundress and hat, grab my Nikon and out into the field we go.

After she tires of flower picking, we grab lunch at the ridiculously overpriced but oh so quaint little organic market and have a picnic at the beach.

Then it is back home to a blissfully quiet house where Claire agrees to take a nap and I get to spend some quality time editing the 110 photos from the morning.

Then it is off to the beach for some play time, then baths and then out for yummy fried seafood.

Much cooler than Mommy's station wagon

Much more fun than sitting with Mommy

The day ends with Claire cuddled up on my lap watching the big yellow moon rise over the field behind the house.

Ahhhh, summer.

a stolen moment

I nursed Claire to sleep every day of her babyhood. I did not do it for the supposed health benefits or the possibility of extra IQ points. I did it because I enjoyed the closeness. The special something only I could provide. When I weaned her at 20 months, I still held her close but instead rocked her to sleep in the same worn green glider.

Now, at 25 months old, her legs dangle off of my lap. Often, she grows restless as I rock her. Often, after a little cuddle she asks to go in her crib and then talks herself to sleep.

But today she was tired. She kicked and cried about going up stairs. She kicked and cried some more about having her diaper changed. She fussed as I gave her lambie and her favorite blankie. But then as I held her close she sighed deeply, put her head against my chest and said 'tired... I tired...'

As she closed her eyes and feel asleep in my arms, all of a sudden she was my little baby again.

overweight

My four year old daughter is overweight. Obese, actually.

In the last few months her appetite has increased dramatically. At meal times she clears her plate and asks for more, more, more. Throughout the day I hear 'Mommy, I'm hungry!'.

My instinct has always been to feed my children when they are hungry. I cook most of our meals from scratch. Both kids eat a good variety of fruits, vegetables, meats and seafood. Occasionally we eat out or get an ice cream treat, but overall I would say they eat well.

However, with this increased appetite has come weight gain. Noticeable weight gain. I hoped that steering her toward healthier foods and getting her outside more would be enough to get her back on track. Kids go through phases with weight gain and growth spurts after all.

But when she happened to get on the scale and her weight was 7 pounds higher than her last doctor's visit I panicked. Off to the doctor's we went to look into this almost 20 percent increase in her weight in just three months.

After a number of questions the doctor determined that an underlying medical issue is unlikely. Thyroid issues can cause weight gain, but with no increase in appetite or eating. Most other medical problems cause weight loss not weight gain.

The bottom line? She went from a BMI that was on the high side but within the normal range to a BMI in the obese range. She needs to eat less. She needs to eat smaller portions of healthy food. A formula I know all to well as someone who has been concerned with her weight for the past 15 years or so.

I so want to protect my daughter from what I know is coming. Like me, my daughter is tall and will never be one of those skinny girls that can eat whatever they want. Looking back at my 5'10'', size 10 teenage self in a bikini I see a body I would kill to have now. But at the time I felt big and awkward. Most of my friends were inches shorter and sizes smaller.

As I got older, I found ways to use my long legs to my advantage and I am now comfortable with my size. I would like to be 10 pounds lighter, but I am comfortable. My body has done amazing things. But it took me years of insecurity to get here.

I also can't help feeling that this is unfair. Childhood is supposed to be a time of freedom from weight and body image issues. All kids eat junk food and candy. And it is everywhere. We go on a play date and there are munchkins. It is someone's birthday at school and yet another candy filled goodie bag comes home. I hate the thought of having to say no to every fun treat that comes along as all the other kids stuff their faces full of chips and candy.

My daughter sat with me in the doctor's office as we discussed her weight and eating habits. As we left, I asked her if she understood what the doctor had said. Her sweet innocent eyes looked up at me and she said 'No, Mommy.'

I struggle to find the right words to talk to her about this issue. I don't want to label her or make her feel self conscious about her body. I tiptoe around the words, even though the words have no meaning to her yet.

I want her to have a healthy relationship with food, but for this to happen her eating habits need to change. The portions she is eating are not healthy. It is no longer something that can be ignored. And somehow I need to balance this with the needs of my other daughter that is falling off the other end of the weight chart.

As a family we will do what we need to do. We will improve our eating habits. We will all benefit from healthier meals and snacks.

I know we could face much, much worse.

But just for today, I am going to be bitter about weight issues. I am going to be sad about the fact that the adult world can be harsh and cruel. I am going to be sad about the fact that I am not going to be able to protect my girls from that harshness and cruelness forever.

weekly winners

paint is fun

how many petals?

one week old and ready to fly

empty nest

happy at the beach

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the end of the begining

Today was Abby's last day of pre-preschool. The end of the beginning of her school career. Next year she moves from the two day class to the three day class where the intense kindergarten prep begins.

Since she is my big girl, I often lose sight of the fact that Abby is still growing and changing. With babies the changes are dramatic and the milestones are big. The changes in Abby over the last nine months have not been as specific or easy to record in a baby book, but looking back I can see how much she has grown.

Here is three year old Abby on her first day of school. I remember how anxious we both were. How we fought over this outfit. How that fight involved yelling and tears. How she enjoyed her first day, only to scream "Don't leave me, Mommy" and hold on to me for dear life on the second day. I remember how I left the school only to call from my cell phone in the car. How I was nervous the entire time she was gone.




Here is four year old Abby receiving her certificate on celebration day. We also fought over this outfit, but as you can see by the striped dress, plaid headband and polka dot flip flops, I have loosened up quite a bit. This Abby runs out of school with a huge smile and non stop chatter about all the fun she has had. This Abby is comfortable and confident with her friends. This Abby is sad that she will not get to see her teachers for the whole summer.

Looking back, we have both come a long way this year.

I am very proud of my big girl.

photo story friday- the dress

This is the dress. The dress Claire would not let me leave the store without buying for her. We were shopping for her big sister when she spotted it. She frantically repeated "I want that orange dress" over and over again until it was in her hands.

I thought it looked strange on the hanger, but she was not letting it go without lots of tears and I gave in. Happily, it actually looks really cute on her.

This afternoon, I had a brilliant idea. I would get a nice portrait of her in the dress. Her special dress. I asked her if Mommy could take her picture outside. She said "Okay! Can I bring my pop?". Thrilled that she is being so agreeable, I said sure.

Like somehow I thought it wouldn't end up all over the dress??

Yet another great portrait that never was.



Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

the dreaded sunburn

Yesterday, I took the girls to a beach for a few hours to escape this miserable heat.

Being a good, vigilant Mom I slathered both kids with SPF 50 prior to leaving the house. I forced them to wear surf shirts and hats for extra sun protection. We are pale people and the thought of burning their sweet, tender skin fills my mommy heart with terror.

The beach was wonderful. We ran. We swam. We played. I maybe forgot about reapplying sunscreen.

When we arrived home I noticed that Abby had two bright red spots on her checks. Panic. And her arms? They looked a little pink. And her legs too. Oh. My. God. Sunburn.

I quickly covered her in Aloe and continued to poke at her to access the damage. Was it really a burn? Or perhaps just the heat?

Because no decent mother lets their kid get sunburned. WE all burned as kids and especially as teenagers, but now we have SPF 100 sunscreen. We know about skin cancer. One sunburn and your chances of getting skin cancer skyrocket. I have never seen a kid with a tan, much less a sunburn.

Abby took a bath and went to bed with no complaints, but I continued to panic. The next day was water day at school, followed by a pool party. Two events she had been looking forward to all week. Two events outside. And the forecast was for sunny and 95 degrees.

But what kind of mother would I be if I let her fry in the sun again?

I tried pulling off her covers to check the status of her skin as she slept, but all I got was a groggy kid telling me to get lost.

Morning came, and much to my relief she looked fine. No sunburn! What relief. What joy.

I dressed her, slathered on lots of sunscreen and we headed off to school.

We arrived at school and received this greeting from her teacher:

OH ABBY, YOU HAVE A LITTLE SUNBURN!!!

Apparently, I am such a bad mother I am delusional.

why do we continue to live in the state of massachusetts?

Family, friends and, oh yeah, this...



We girls are loving our beach time.

this weekend in our yard

In typical New England fashion, the weather here has gone from cool and damp to hot, hot, hot. It appears that tomorrow we may even have record breaking 100 degree heat.

The girls embraced this sudden start to summer, spending the weekend exploring the yard, eating popsicles and running through the sprinkler. Good, simple fun.







And our baby birds? In a week they went from this:



Too this:



Since I am in no way a bird expert I was amazed to watch them grow literally over night. Wings and feathers just sprouted out of nowhere. In one week. One left the nest today and I am sure the other three will not be far behind.

Two weeks of sitting on eggs, a week or so of worm feeding and mama bird is done. Not a bad deal.

stop and smell the flowers

This spring Claire has been all about picking flowers. She manages to find them in all sorts of small patches of grass that I never even noticed existed.

"I want pick flowers" she cries excitedly every time she finds one. She then fills her tiny fists with tiny flower bouquets that she drags around with her for hours.



Smell them Mommy, she says excitedly, pushing everything from lilacs to chives under my nose.



When she discovered the pretty pink flowers in our strawberry patch, Abby quickly sounded the alert "NOOOO Claire NOOOO!!!! MOOOMMMMY, come QUICKLY, Claire is picking the strawberries!!" No question, this kid knows the rules.

Patiently, I explained to Claire that we do not pick these flowers because we want them to grow into strawberries.

Mommy, smell the flower she said.

Yes, it is pretty, but we do not pick them I explained again.

Mommy, smell the flower she repeated patiently again and again.

Did you know strawberry flowers smell absolutely beautiful? I had never noticed.

what are you doing this summer?

This is the question that seems to be on everyone's mind these days. School is almost over. The weather is warm. So what exactly are we going to do this summer?

This will be my third summer as a stay at home mom. The first summer I had a two year old, a newborn and a healing c-section incision. Getting to the backyard was a major accomplishment.

The second summer I had a tantrum prone three year old and a one year old who enjoyed nursing, took two naps a day and was not especially motivated to walk but was to old to sit by peacefully while big sis played. Getting to the backyard was still somewhat of an accomplishment.

But this summer I have a two year old and a four year old. Two kids that can do kid stuff. Two kids that can walk and talk and eat food. We are able to travel with a minimum of equipment and supplies. We are able to stay out for a whole day, because although Claire does still take an afternoon nap most days, she does not get cranky if she misses one.

The freedom! The excitement! The pressure of filling almost three whole months with no structured activities at all. I want it to be a balance of relaxing, unstructured time and fun activities. Memorable, yet manageable.

So what are we going to do this summer?

First up, we have a trip to Storyland planned, which will involve our first hotel stay as a family of four. We will also be taking several trips to my family’s beach house on Cape Cod. We typically spend most of our time on the beach, but Abby is also very interested in going on a whale watch and visiting the Zooquarium this year.

Okay, so that covers three, maybe four weeks of the summer. What next?

We will go blueberry and strawberry picking. The kids still talk regularly about how much fun it was to eat all the blueberries last year.

Bank of America is offering free museum admission on the first weekend of each month, so we will attempt a visit to the Museum of Fine Arts with the girls. I plan to spice this up by letting them choose post cards in the gift shop and use them for a scavenger hunt.

We will make good use of our Children’s Museum membership by visiting the wonderfully enchanting outdoor Wild Place, and special summer drop in events in Boston and Easton.

An All-You-Can-Eat Ice Cream Festival to benefit the Jimmy Fund. How could we not go?

And we can't forget the Zoo, with their new butterfly exhibit and Carousel.

Or Edaville Railroad and their fun little kiddie rides.

Still more summer left? My girls would probably love one of these Disney Princess themed Children's Theatre shows.

And finally, my favorite summer day trip is Nantasket Beach. When the tide is low, there is a wide flat beach full of tide pools for the girls to play in. The water is warm (for around here) and the waves are big enough without being too big. There is a Historic Carousel, a board walk filled with shops and a playground, plus convenient amenities like showers and a bathroom all for the low price of $3 for parking.

Okay, so now we have some places to go, but what about those rainy days? I am not an especially crafty person, so I am a big fan of the craft projects at our local library. Someone else has planned them, someone else has set them up and they are free.

But since my kids really do enjoy crafts, I did also manage to find a few crafty things that seem doable at home with a four year old and a two year old:

paint with pudding
summer coloring pages
caterpillar craft
salt art
flour play
magic goo

If we get desperate, we might try making bubbles, chalk, play dough or these sand footprints.

And to balance all of this summer fun, I hope to spend lots of lazy days just hanging around in our own neighborhood playing in the water and eating pops.

I tend to feel more pressure to be out somewhere doing something in the summer months, but the reality is chores still need to get done, gas is expensive and our entertainment budget is limited.

I am going to try to remember that is okay to just stay home and enjoy the simple pleasure of watching the kids play and explore in our own backyard. Simple. Relaxing. Fun. Free.

So what are you doing this summer?

Head on over to Rocks in My Dryer to see how others plan to keep the kids occupied during the summer months.

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Edited to Add:

A few more wonderful ideas I just have to add to my list:

free movies

attract and catch fireflies

nature scavenger hunt for toddlers/preschoolers

make an alphabet book