a letter to my little big girl

To Claire,

Your older sister was exactly two years and five months old when you arrived, making her the big girl and you the baby.

You are now two years and five months old yourself, but still firmly consider yourself the baby despite mounting evidence that you are in fact a big girl too.

As a second child, in some ways you are much more advanced than your sister was at the same age. You know all your letters and are beginning to sound out words, just like your sister does. You know your way around parties and playdates. For about a year now you have played with all the same toys as your sister so you know all the characters, from the Disney Princesses to Sponge Bob. You know how to tell a knock-knock joke and you have the potty mouth of a preschooler.

But it some ways you are still very much a baby. You want no part of learning to use the potty or moving out of your crib. I still rock you to sleep each night in your squeaky old green glider with your lullabies playing, your lambie tucked under your arm and your blankie covering your entire body (which is getting harder and harder, by the way).

You are cautious by nature, and slow to try new things. Although this generally makes it very easy to parent you, I do sometimes worry that I should push you to do more. My hope has always been that in your own time, you would spread your wings and fly, your confidence built up by all of the love and security I have provided you every single day of your life.

And slowly, you are conquering new things. Your most recent conquest? The big, big slide, the one you climbed up for months but then refused to slide down.

You have the most giving spirit. When Abby asks you to share something, your answer is "Oh, of course," like sharing your candy with your sister is the most natural thing in the world to you.

You are also incredibly articulate and concerned with manners. You say the most adorably proper hellos and goodbyes. Recently as we were leaving the play place at the mall you called out to the little girl you had just meet ten minutes before "Bye-Bye, I will see you next time!"

As your mother I would love to take some credit for all these good manners, but I believe it is just who you are.

Despite your giving nature, you are not a pushover. You are a little thing with big opinions. You are very smart and also a bit stubborn when it comes to getting what you want.

You still often want to be carried, but are demanding about exactly which position you are to be carried in.

"Don't carry me like this," you cry, "Carry me like this!"

As the baby, you are possibly a bit spoiled when it comes to getting your way.

You are also steadfast in your likes and dislikes. You like the color orange, orange juice (NOT milk), Ariel Mermaid, macaroni & cheese and the letter O (yes, there is definitely a theme to this list). And unlike your sister, who changes favorites on a whim, these are the things you like and no amount of peer pressure will sway you.

As the youngest kid in the neighborhood you are adored by the older kids. You even had your own playdate recently with your seven year old friend from across the street.

However, your sister is truly your best friend.

As close as you and I are, you and Abby understand and enjoy each other in a way that I just can't. The two of you spend hours each day playing together in your own little world of fantasy and make believe. You speak each others language and make each other laugh over the silliest things. Seeing the love and laughter that the two of you share is one of my greatest joys.

I am totally in love with exactly who you are right now- part big girl and part baby. I love to sit back and just watch you as you interact with the world. I love to scoop up your squirmy little body and kiss you and tickle you all over. I applaud you growing and learning, but at the same time I savor these last bits of your littleness.

I love you, now and always, my little big girl.