the making of a better parent

Since the end of my first pregnancy, I have subscribed to various parenting magazines. They came free with purchase or as gifts or seemed like a great deal at three years for the price of one. I am sure you know the ones. I am sure you subscribe to them too.

As a new mom, I earnestly read or at least skimmed the pages each month. I remember in those early days I got together with another new mom and baby pair each week. This mom was always asking me things like "Do you have a baby Bjorn? Did you see there was a recall??" Invariably, I had not.

I always left feeling vaguely negligent and vowed to study harder. To be a better parent.

As the years went by, I built a network of supportive friends and family. I discovered blogging. And Wondertime (I puffy heart Wondertime). I found my confidence and my parenting style. I came to trust myself as the expert on what is best for my children and my family.

But somehow the magazines, with their warnings, solutions and expert advice, still arrive each month.

Let's look at a sampling of this months offerings:

• The monthly It Happened to Me feature tells the story of a woman who was carelessly rushing out of the supermarket and partially severed her toddler son's finger on the door. Yikes. Moms, you can never be to careful. Never. Ever.

• Next we have some shots of pregnant celebrities wearing high heels, with a warning that high heels during pregnancy are dangerous. The piece goes on to say that flats and flip flops are also bad. No advice on what one should wear, just another item to add to your list of worries.

• Then on to some Q &A. First we have a woman concerned that she saw her neighbor's kid riding a bike without a helmet. Then a woman who prefers to be addressed as Mrs. So and So, and wonders if it is okay to correct her children's friends.
  
  Seriously? Who are these women? And where exactly do they find all this time to stew over other people's parenting and write in to magazines about it?

• And finally we have some tips on styling your hair when you don't have time to wash it. Um, okay, but if I had the time to buy all these styling products and follow a series of styling instructions I would just, I don't know, wash my hair.

Do we really need more reasons to judge? To worry? To feel bad about our parenting or ourselves? Or inferior to some "expert", no matter how helpful and friendly their tone?

I don't. I am officially done reading this stuff and I am done feeling bad about it.