mommy the monster

I am becoming obsolete. No longer needed. Yesterday I was highly in demand as a playmate. Today, not so much.

This afternoon, when Abby got up from her nap her first request was to invite a friend over. The friend's mother was happy to send her over and when she arrived the girls took off upstairs. A little while later they came through the kitchen on their way to the basement playroom. The baby watched with interest and then followed them down the stairs. No one cared if I went down or not. I did go down to keep an eye on the baby and was told by Abby "Mommy, you are the monster. I don't want you to see me or talk to me".

Four years old, and already I am not cool enough to hang out with her friends. At least until they wanted a snack anyway.

I have eagerly waited for this day to come. The day when my daughters would happily play on their own, leaving me with just a bit more space for me in our time together, free of guilt. Time that I can use to cook or clean or read or just think. Freedom from the constant whine of mommy- mama-mommmmy and little hands pulling on my legs. The ability to be here for them without being totally consumed by them and their needs.

But like every much anticipated milestone, there is also some sadness. Because increasingly the events that define their days will not involve or be planned by me. Friends and teachers will take center stage. At least for now the baby is still willing to hang out with me. I guess I should play with her while I still can.