I spend a fair amount of time feeling vaguely guilty about the things I do not do more of as a parent. A better parent would plan craft projects. A better parent would not feel bored or lazy. A better parent would savor every moment with her children. A better parent would not take time away from her kids to blog. A better parent would play board games and puzzles. A better parent would not let her kids watch TV. A better parent would get them dressed and make sure their faces were clean, even if they are not going out.
We do our fair share of socializing and organized activities. But the truth is that when we are home I enforce meal time, nap time, bath time and bed time. That's it. For the rest of the time, what they do is up to the kids. Often they ask to watch TV. Often I let them. If they want help or want me to read a book, I will, but I do not structure activities for them. I do like to get them outside when possible, for my sanity and theirs. But I do not force them to do anything in their "free" time. I also do not provide constant entertainment. I want them to use their imaginations and work out problems on their own. Lazy parenting? Maybe.
But what actually happens during this free time? Sometimes they watch TV. But mostly, they have fun. They run and they laugh. They use their imaginations. They create new games together. They play.
Just the other day they were working together to act out a Dora type mission that involved the insert from my birth control pills as the map and my torn apart couch as a bridge. They were working together. And having fun. TV provided the inspiration and my being distracted by a telephone conversation provided them with the opportunity to trash the place.
This is the essence of what childhood is to me. Days filled with fun, surprises, laughter and imagination. Whatever else I might or might not be giving my kids, I am giving them a childhood.
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I 100% agree with you. I run my household the same exact way. We have scheduled times to eat, nap, bathe, etc.
ReplyDeleteBut playtime? I leave that "schedule" up to my kids. When my oldest isn't at school, my younger one watches more TV than I would like (but I know that will change now that the weather is nicer). But she also plays with dolls, runs, sings, cooks etc. All on her own.
When they are all home, I often just send them outside to play. It is up to them to decide what to do. And yes, they come up with so many imaginative games to play...NOT organized by me.
And, they play so well by themselves (with the occasional fight, LOL) without any adult guidance.
Hi--I found your blog through OHMommy's. I have 3 boys so I enjoy getting a 'girly' fix. Yours are adorable!! We seem to have similar parenting styles. You definitely don't sound like a 'lazy' parent at all!! (because then that would make me lazy too!)
ReplyDelete:)
You're one up on me! I don't even schedule naptime and meals. If she looks hungry or asks for a snack, we eat! She usually eats more this way too.
ReplyDeleteWe have a "window" for taking a nap. Even if she won't sleep, she has to go "rest in her bed".
I hate structure. I LOVE that each day is an adventure!
great post. :) I agree with so much of it. :)
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I add, is encouraging myself to share along in the fun a little more than this old lazy person wants to. :) and I try to get both of us into trying new things.
other than that....play is play. :)